Through the years, many readers have asked …

Posted on April 3, 2014 by Robert Ringer Comments (2)


Through the years, many readers have asked me what they should do about a friend who has deteriorated into a liability. My answer to this dilemma has been consistent: Cut the person out of your life, post haste, before things get out of control. Just because you made an initial error in judgment does not mean you have an obligation to perpetuate a bad relationship and endure further suffering.

When you try to smooth over annoying relationships, they are only likely to get worse. The other person often misinterprets your nonresistance as encouragement, with the end result being bad feelings all the way around when the situation finally comes to a head.

Above all, never leave the matter of friendship up to the other party. Anyone who causes you problems or discomfort is an aggressor on your happiness, and no one has a right to interfere with the quality of your life.

Some might argue that it’s cruel to exit a relationship that is causing you pain, but they’re wrong. On the contrary, it’s a wise and rational decision to end an uncomfortable relationship. It’s good not only for you, but for the other party as well, because the long-term result of your failure to take action is likely to be an ever-increasing amount of unpleasantness all the way around.

And my guess is that you don’t need any more unpleasantness in your life than you already have.

Robert Ringer

+Robert Ringer is an American icon whose unique insights into life have helped millions of readers worldwide. He is also the author of two New York Times #1 bestselling books, both of which have been listed by The New York Times among the 15 best-selling motivational books of all time.

2 responses to “Through the years, many readers have asked …”

  1. Shankar says:

    I won't agree. Any way you have every right to express your thought. One and only question…. Have you tried with your hearth to make the relation better. Everyone should judge on their own with all their good consciousness. I feel no one can answer to others what to do.

    Good day

  2. Shankar says:

    Good morning. What is the measurement that tells us that we already reached saturation. Is it when the second person stop listening to you and your all good intentional sayings?

    I fully agree to the fact that you are not bound by the responsibility of elevating ours lives by doing all of their work. However we need to see whether we are really trying to reach the other person's heart so that we can bring the change we want.

Leave a Reply