I didn’t watch so much as a minute of the election returns last night, because it was a foregone conclusion that Crud Cruz was going to win Wisconsin and I simply didn’t want to hear about it. Even worse would have been subjecting myself to watching him give a victory speech, fraught with those meticulously placed Academy Award pauses between sentences.
Ever since Cruz sold his soul to the establishment, I’ve had him on my No-Watch List and Mute List, which includes such indigestible characters as John (reach across the aisle) Kasich, Glenn Beck, Megyn the Malevolent, Greta, Juan Williams, Kirsten Powers, et al. Adhering to these lists is a matter of dignity. I simply won’t lower myself to watch or listen to fools, charlatans, mean-spirited characters, or narcissistic numbskulls.
Trump is not on either list as yet, because he’s usually been fun to watch. But I’ve been giving serious thought to add him ever since he went crazy on me and pivoted toward a suicide mission. Maybe he’ll make a comeback, but right now I don’t take him seriously. On the other hand, I take Melania VERY seriously — but that’s another story altogether.
Having said this, a friend of mine came up with a hilariously creative idea today: Since it’s almost a certainty that the Republican power boys will succeed in screwing Trump out of the nomination, and since Uncle Bernie has already been screwed out of the nomination by the Dirty Dems, why don’t the two of them join forces and form a third party?
Just imagine, a capitalist and a socialist working together in a brand-new party. It sounds laughable until you consider one thing: Between them, they would have more votes than the eventual nominee in either wing of the Demopublican Party.
Whether the new Capocratic Party would choose Trump or Sanders as its nominee is a minor detail that would have to be worked out. Or maybe they would come up with their own compromise candidate. But regardless of the details, they could put both wings of the Demopublican Party out of business in just one election.
It sounds farfetched, to be sure, but everything about this campaign season has been farfetched. The only thing of which we can be certain is that if Trump (with or without Sanders) doesn’t form a third party, and if the Demopublicans come up with a fraudulent presidential race that looks anything like Twit Mitt vs Butthead Biden (again, Hillary probably will be forced to drop out), everyday citizens will be openly carrying pitchforks.
And the nice thing about it is that there’s no permit required for pitchforks — either open or concealed carry. Actually, it sounds like it might be fun.