Reality Therapy

Posted on April 23, 2016 by Robert Ringer Comments (53)

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For most of my life, I was a strong believer in conventional psychology, which is based on the teachings of Sigmund Freud. Conventional psychology focuses on finding the psychological roots of an individual’s problems.

The idea is that once a person’s past traumas are brought to the surface and dissected, he is able to change his attitude toward life. It made perfect sense to me. I did not believe in the concept of “behavioral modification,” which is in stark conflict with conventional psychology. Behavioral modification seemed to imply synthetic change, which is why I associated it with the rah-rah slogan “Just fake it till you make it.”

But my attitude toward both traditional psychotherapy and behavioral modification changed when I started learning about “reality therapy,” a psychotherapy method created by the late Dr. William Glasser.

Before discussing reality therapy, I am obliged to point out that it’s a very complex subject, and one in which I claim no professional expertise. My only aim here is to simplify reality therapy in an effort to share some information and insights that might be helpful to you.

With this caveat, I will begin by pointing out that the central focus of reality therapy is fulfillment of an individual’s needs. A reality therapist believes that fulfilling one’s needs is concerned only with an individual’s present life. It has nothing to do with his past, no matter how traumatic his experiences may have been.

Reality therapy, however, does not deny the existence of past problems. Rather, it just views them as unimportant when it comes to fulfilling one’s present needs.

The corollary to the above is that if you learn to fulfill your needs in the present, the past no longer matters. A perfect example of this would be an individual who has experienced a bad first marriage. The sooner such an individual can find happiness in a second marriage, the sooner his/her first marriage will become a distant memory. In fact, reality therapy believes that the most critical factor when it comes to fulfilling one’s needs is intimate involvement with another person.

To the reality therapist, then, it’s a waste of time to sit around and lament what has happened to us in the past and continue to use old traumas as an excuse for our present unhappiness. The only things you can change are your thoughts and actions of today.

So, while it’s true that you are a product of your past, the reality is that you can’t change any of the unpleasantness you may have endured earlier in life. Whatever childhood problems may have caused a person to behave the way he does today, no amount of bringing them to the surface will change his current situation.

Reality therapy teaches that the key to fulfilling our needs in the present is responsible behavior. As Dr. Glasser put it, “Happiness occurs most often when we are willing to take responsibility for our behavior. … Responsible behavior leads to a feeling of self-worth.”

In other words, Dr. Glasser believed that responsible behavior ultimately solves most of our problems. But isn’t “responsible behavior” a subjective term? This question brings to the fore the age-old relativist argument that everything in life is subjective. Millions of clueless kids bought into the lie of relativism in the sixties, only to end up dead or with shattered lives.

But the truth of the matter is that every halfway intelligent, mature adult knows the difference between responsible and irresponsible behavior. I would argue that the vile behavior extolled by millions of viewers every night on television — much of it under the protective shadow of the First Amendment — never leads to happiness.

Civilization cannot exist without a generally accepted code of conduct, and it is the code of conduct of Western culture that has made it the most civilized and prosperous civilization in the history of mankind.

In other words, responsible behavior pretty much coincides with practicing the virtuous traits that are the bedrock of Western life. It is self-evident to all civilized people that responsible behavior is demonstrated through such traits as hard work, saving for the future, civility, loyalty, respect, honesty, temperance, and charity, to name but a few.

Again, we all have bad experiences in our pasts, especially in our childhoods, that have left painful memories. There is, however, nothing we can do about them. History is written in stone.

Nevertheless, we have the capacity to control how we think and act today. This capacity is known as “free will.” We are the only living creatures who have the capacity to change the nature of our existence by altering events.

It is free will that makes behavioral modification possible. For example, I smoked until I was in my late twenties, but stopped — cold turkey — in one day. Based on the medical evidence, I simply faced up to the reality that smoking was a dangerous and irresponsible behavior.

My decision to stop smoking was not based on my gaining a deeper understanding of my past. Through free will, I was able to modify my behavior by accepting reality and employing one of the most important of all responsible traits — self-discipline.

Whatever it is that you don’t like about your present life — business, personal, or otherwise — don’t sit around and blame it on the past. Just as important, don’t feel that you have to get at the deeply rooted, underlying causes of your problems.

I don’t know you personally, but I’m willing to bet you can tell the difference between right and wrong. I would also wager that you can differentiate between responsible and irresponsible behavior. And I have absolutely no doubt that you, as a human being blessed with the awesome faculty of free will, have the capacity to take action — today — to do the right thing.

No matter how smart you may think that loyal pooch lying on the floor next to your chair is, the reality is that he can’t do anything to change his existence. Having no free will, his destiny is to serve his master all his life.

Though I recognize that you may not own a canine, I brought man’s best friend into the picture to graphically remind you of just how fortunate you are to be a human being. To not exploit the unique gift you possess to alter your life for the better is to drastically short-change yourself.

Free will is the gift that keeps on giving. The only question is whether or not the recipient chooses to use it wisely.

Robert Ringer

+Robert Ringer is an American icon whose unique insights into life have helped millions of readers worldwide. He is also the author of two New York Times #1 bestselling books, both of which have been listed by The New York Times among the 15 best-selling motivational books of all time.

53 responses to “Reality Therapy”

  1. Pierre Pierre Gagnon says:

    Thanks a lot Robert. Great reminder. All that really counts is today and tomorrow. Simply make the best of it. Take risks and laught a lot, mostly about yourself.
    You’re the greatest. Keep at it. Impress us as only you can do it.

  2. Muthuswmy N says:

    The problem is the unique gift of free will can be used or misused. The pity is the person who misuses also thinks he is using it properly!
    Free will can be exercised and should be, but the consequences of the action arising out of exercising the free will cannot be escaped. A mere understanding that the consequences of exercising free will cannot be avoided at all would reduce the chances of its misuse.
    The worst combination is power combined with free will. This is what is happening to politicians around the world. Even here if one thinks about the consequences, not just what he thinks are the consequences but also the opposite of what he thinks are the consequences, will drive a balance into the thinking with less chances of misuse.

  3. Richard Lee Van DV says:

    You are NOT speaking of those who are "mentally ill" , I assume. Back in the 80s after reading Glasser's REALITY THERAPY I "assumed" that a hard-headed manipulative son only needed a QUICK dose or Reality Therapy, but Glasser himself, I recall, wrote that it is a long process. Long story, but, the young man I intended to "fix" quickly instead went into a really bad "psychotic episode". I found because of that experience Glasser's technique applies to those who are NOT clinically psychotic. Obviously there is a difference between "normal" wrong choices and those that may be compulsive, and perhaps unconscious. I certainly AGREE with what you have to say here, with the above qualification. Personally, back in college days, I undertook NON-DIRECTIVEanalysis and found what I had REPRESSED, and forgot, and once it became up on the conscious level, I could deal with the "inner conflict". You are right. The initial "psychic pain" that may be causative of certain negative behaviors will remain, but, when we understand them, we have a fightin' chance to deal with our inner BS. But, the battle is not necessarily easy. It can be a life-long process. I know from hard experience. But, what I call the "existential view" is as you suggest: we size up our situation, and make subsequent choices, hopefully one that "work better" (Pragmatism). As the Existentialists teach, we ARE free to choose, and, we cannot not choose, because a choice to not choose is also a choice, a choice to not choose. And, when we do choose, we choose "for the world". If I say, this is good for me, I am suggesting that I believe it is good for you also. Yes, Behaviorism IS good for teaching dogs to salivate, but that is its level.

  4. Reality Seeker says:

    I agree. Well written. Good advice.

    I say, it's import to learn from the past, but don't let your past hold you back. Get over it, and move on with your life. "Free will" combined with higher reason ( another thing dogs lack) allows us to prosper.

    As an aside, in the near future I hope we can start a discussion on economics. The topic of "what money is and what money is not" would, for example, be an interesting subject. Why? Because a person who doesn't understand the fundamentals of economics ( e.g., what money is, how markets work and how government influences money and markets) is going to sooner or later get financially crushed because of ignorance.

    Money can make right a lot of wrongs in an individual's life. Money can buy the time to figure out important issues. Money can buy time to relax and muse. Money is what actually makes possible any meaningful therapy. It doesn't have to necessarily be a lot of money, but my analysis of the average American family leads me to believe that financial stress is tearing many people and their families apart. Their ignorance is killing them.

    • ◄Dave► says:

      OK, I'll bite. What exactly do you mean when you use the term 'Money?' ◄Dave►

      • Reality Seeker says:

        As I said, I'm hoping money will be a topic sometime in the future. I'll offer a few prerequisites which should be critically thought about before reaching any conclusion(s). Before we answer the question of what is money, I think we should first ask ourselves what is value. And where does value come from? How is it established in the first place?

        Without man, there is no value. For example, a nugget of gold does not come out of the ground with a price tag attached to it; gold is Au; an element; and that's all it is; therefore, man is necessary to, firstly, establish the concept of value and, secondly, to name the element, thirdly, assign value to Au.

        More precisely, man's subjective opinion is a prerequisite in establishing value. A dog, for example, has not the free will nor the reason to have an opinion on value. A dog is driven by instinct. Only man can assign value to a good or service. Only man can trade. Only man can establish an economy. Only man can form a government. Only man possesses the cognitive ability to hold a subjective opinion in the aforementioned matters.

        In other words: value is an opinion; therefore, money is also derived from opinion. Opinion is also what drives prices up or down. Money is in and by itself something that has particular attributes which almost naturally give it a self evident measure of value in man's eyes. And here's the tricky part. Man's opinion constantly changes. For example, when you watch the stock market, the Forex market and the bond market go up or down, you are actually watching opinion change in real time.

        It could also be argued that money is something that has at the very least the illusion of value. For example, if I pulled out a hundred dollar bill ( which is currently not backed by silver or gold), held it up to the average guy on the street and asked him: "is this money?" He'd say, " ya, dumb ass, what else do you think it is?" You see, to Joe Sixpack, the "almighty dollar IS money". Why? Why does Joe hold that subjective opinion? In a word: confidence. That's why…..Joe has confidence. He believes in the dollar like he believes in God. In God Joe trusts. Joe has faith. Joe has faith in God, government and in the bankers who wear all those expensive Armani suits while they decide if Joe is "approved".

        I'll leave off of this subject for now. And hopefully we can pick up this discussion later.

        • Rob says:

          Don’t forget that every individual values things subjectively. Every one of us ranks wants and needs differently. Which is one reason a “one size fits all” solution never works. Interestingly enough, however, certain types of money have collective value, like gold. The difference is that it gains its preeminence not from a fiat standpoint, but a bottom-up collective one. Which is another reason why commodity backed currency is better than a fiat one.

        • Richard Lee Van DV says:

          What? If I were Joe, and looked at a hundred dollar bill, I would think of the FUNCTION of the note. I would think of what I can get from its USE. Its USE VALUE is it primary good.

  5. Diane Young says:

    This article is the absolute truth. It has dawned on so few people–duh–that the only thing we can control are our own thoughts. I frequently hear others lamenting some event or situation in their life, actually obsessing over something IN THE PAST THAT CAN'T BE CHANGED. "I just can't stop thinking about it," they say. That's because they either aren't in control of their own minds or they CHOOSE to keep beating that dead horse. It's hard to understand why anyone would keep running the same video through their head, knowing full-well that it will always have the same bad ending. The healthy attitude is to learn from the hard lesson and move on with a positive insight.

    • Richard Lee Van DV says:

      I agree totally, but, I would add, "easier said than done." Some of us, unfortunately, "obsess" on certain items, either current issues or long=standing ones. When a person is "like that", INCLUDING ME AND MY FATHER BEFORE ME, it is difficult to "change the subject within one's mind". Hence, the difference between the Is & the Ought. I OUGHT to stop obsessing on some petty issue, but back it comes. We are all born with a type of "temperament". We are not only conditioned to be how we are. Sometimes an authentic personal astrology chart (make sure the astrologer is truly competent) can indicate our predispositions. It can/may help us to better understand our, what? underlying nature, or temperament.

      • Rob says:

        It’s less difficult than you might think. Remember you’re on the inside of such a situation looking out. Focused meditation, in my experience, seems to help quite a bit by training your mind to focus on the present. Once you learn to do that, it’s much easier I think to move past events in your history that hold you back.

  6. As usual, excellent!

  7. Tasine says:

    Great article. I GET it! Some years ago on my way to buy cigarettes for my 20 year habit, I decided I was sick and tired of washing the nicotine stains off my curtains, walls, furniture, carpet……EVERYTHING. I turned my car around and went back home with a sigh of relief because the burden was gone from my back, and I have never craved a cigarette again. Had no “withdrawal” symptoms. As an RN, I had been taught the difference between habits and addictions. Habits do not have physical withdrawal signs. Addictions do! It seems some dictionaries of today have changed the meanings of several words, I assume to silence the raging beast of PC. I had a habit, not an addiction.

    Additionally, I say to myself when I wake up every day, “Today will be a great day!” And it usually is.

  8. Allen Willey says:

    You chapter on the Theory of Reality is probably your best work. After trading well over 1,000 people; some brilliant, some mediocre, I find the ability to face "Reality" and understand the implications of what is real at the present time, is one of the biggest stumbling blocks to success…in any field.

    I'm pleased to have met you at an early point in my business career.

  9. Allen says:

    Correction. "After TRAINING well over 1,000" Note, there were plenty I should have traded.

  10. Paul Anthony says:

    Robert, I agree that responsible behavior leads to better outcomes. But ignoring the past is not the best approach.

    All of our decisions are based upon our past experiences. Our view of reality is created by seeing every new thing through a filter that is composed of every past experience. We all succumb to what is called 'confirmation bias', that results from the brain's natural attempt to see patterns. Every new experienced is defined by how well it matches old experiences. Even if reality doesn't match our expectations, the brain tries to bend it until it does. No two people see reality in quite the same way.

    So, each person makes decisions based upon experience while thinking he/she is being unbiasedly reasonable.

    • Donna Ping says:

      True,but reality isn't dependent upon our perception of it. It is what it is,so the better we can see it as it really is (without our filters) the more prepared we will be to deal with it.

    • Richard Lee Van DV says:

      Very interesting discussion, Paul. Thanks.

    • Robert Ringer RJR says:

      Paul: Really, two different subjects. It goes without saying that we draw from our past experience, but that does not mean we should dwell on negative past experiences. It's about letting go of past traumas so you can move on with your life. The nuance is important, but it deserves a much more in-depth discussion.

    • Rob says:

      You don’t ignore your past, you simply don’t allow your past to affect your present. Consider your younger self. Like many you probably made a number of missteps and mistakes in your younger years. Those mistakes should be teachable moments not something that you obsess over and cast a shadow over your present. But your past also is full of victories and overcoming adversity. Those past victories can be used to encourage you in overcoming any difficulties you are facing today.

  11. Neil Davies says:

    Brilliant thought provoking information once again. Thank you Robert. (From across the pond in North Wales)

  12. larajf says:

    Confession: When I first clicked on the link in the email, I thought your essay was going to be on Retail Therapy :-)

    I do agree. No matter what happened in the past, you can make a choice right here and right now. Every time I get frustrated with a situation, I remind myself to choose to be happy right now. Find the good in something. Even if it's "Whew, thank goodness I'm not that jerk who needs to take out his frustrations on others"

    I also think that using techniques like NLP to reduce the emotional attachment to bad memories can be very useful. It's just another tool in the box. Ultimately the person has to figure out what works for them to move forward and craft a happy existence.

  13. Mogni Choudhury says:

    You say that the code of conduct of the western culture has made it the most civilised and prosperous civilisation. So the way the whites treated the blacks and enslaved them was a good code of conduct you think? Beating them, torturing them, treating them as sub humans, lynching them was alright then? Yes? If you say it was ages ago, remember Rosa parks? It was only about 50 years ago. Remember Muhammad Ali? Even after winning the Olympics for his home country, he wasn't allowed to go into a restaurant because he is a Negro. If you think that is the most civilised society in the history of mankind, then that is of course your own choice. But I think that kind of behaviour is utterly deplorable and despicable.

    • Donna Ping says:

      No society and no human is perfect. I would argue that our code of conduct is at least part of what allowed us to recognize and right those wrongs. Some, we're still working on. But if we get stuck in the past, rehashing every real or perceived trauma, we will never be happy. Cultivate a grateful spirit. There is so much good in this world, and so much to be thankful for.

    • Richard Lee Van DV says:

      Many "Blacks" I know and have known stay fixated on a past that they were not personally involved in. They let
      it keep them in a state of anger, and often an anger directed at any and all white person(s). I am, I was born white and I am not one of those who did that to them, BACK IN TIME. Doesn't seem fair to me when I encounter that attitude. But, speaking of "conditioning" above, I fought against my father's prejudice against all Blacks, except for Joe Lewis. And then I notice, as hard as I have tried to not be prejudiced, at times some early life conditioning comes to the fore, again. Same for some Blacks in the reverse, I assume. BUT, there are Blacks, and there are Whites. NOT all the same. I do not like the low BEHAVIORS of individuals of either race! In any case, I believe it is best to think "how things are NOW", not dwell on past negatives. Any way one cuts it, it is NOT an easy situation. When and where I grew up 30 miles out of Detroit, there was a dividing line. Blacks knew to stay on their side, the bad land. Now, Blacks, decent people, live as they choose in that same area. And yet, same area, SOME WHITES still call any Black person an N! And I suppose the opposite is true. Still and all, by degree, race relations are better in many sectors than they were back before Martin Luther King. Still a real mix, yes.

      • Jean says:

        Richard – we may have grown up in tne same neighborhoods! You're absolutely right that the race industry and its beneficiaries (can you say "Al Sharpton') have fomented this focus among blacks on their history as slaves, and use it as an excuse for poor scholarship, poor financial choices and thuggish behavior. What they fail to comprehend (and government education has clearly not afforded) is that historically, Asian people also were slaves but somehow, used their past to propel themselves forward, socially and culturally. The Congressional provision that allowed the railroads to import Chinese labor and demand that they repay their employers for their transport, food and lodging made the coolies slaves. However, today's Affirmative Action laws discriminate against those of Asian descent in college admissions, because the EOE has determined that there are just TOO MANY Asians enrolled in college, especially in the science and technology fields. A little less pandering and a lot more reality therapy might actually bring about a post-racial society AND help to eliminate the permanent underclass created by Lyndon Johnson's Great Society programs.

    • Robert Ringer RJR says:

      Mogni: I do not buy into the guilt stuff – period. Forcibly taking away ANYONE'S natural rights is wrong. But it still goes on all over the world today. To the great credit of Western society, it has been righting the wrongs of the past for at least 150 years. That's because it IS a civilized way of life. When blacks were the victims of violence and the loss of certain natural rights, it most definitely was uncivilized behavior on the part of THOSE PEOPLE WHO WERE RESPONSIBLE.

      The problem with Western culture today is that it is giving way to LESS civilized cultures. That is the real problem it faces.

    • Rob says:

      You really need to read up on other cultures. Several cultures, like the Japanese, are pretty racist. Mexico is a case in point as well. I have family members who won’t talk to other family members because they have too much indigenous blood in their ancestry.

      At least here in the States we’re attempting to live according to the philosophy this nation was founded on. Given that ideas of liberty and the equality of human rights is such a new idea, I think we’ve made great strides in erasing barriers just because of where we are from or what the color of our skin is.

  14. Scott theczech says:

    Excellent! This one gets placed into the archive so I can refer to it often. Thank you.

  15. Nornfar says:

    I'll bookmark this page for future reference. I read "Reality Therapy" back in the 1970's. I need to read it again. Clint Eastwood once made a wise observation: "You can't keep a car on the road if you're constantly looking in the rearview mirror."

  16. Sheila says:

    Wonderful, insightful piece. I too will bookmark this page. Love the Clint Eastwood quote! Positive Psychology (as opposed to "positive thinking" which is not real and transitory) has become a growing movement within the discipline of professional psychology, and it has tenets in common with reality therapy. I hope everyone starts to look at their virtues and values, and moves forward with a productive and purposeful life!

  17. Johnny Twosheds says:

    So, if the past is not important, does this means no reparations for slavery? Shoot! Being of Irish descent, this means me getting anything out of those of English descent is right out of the question, huh?

    As a child, I was scared by clown – Bozo The Clown, no less! Because of that terrible event, according to today's liberal psychobabble, I'm not responsible for my current behavior in any way. And its all because a drunk with orange, a red nose and floppy shoes sneered at me – over 50 years ago.

    Dr. William Glasser is just a big meanie and does nothing but commit micro-aggressions all day long. Why, I bet he doesn't even believe in global warming, or even free college, free cell phones and free cheese fries for everyone!

    I feel threatened…where is this web site's "safe space," where I can go and feel safe, where people are not allowed to disagree with me? Because if they do, I've have the dean expel them, and I'll even form a nasty hash-tag campaign about them!

    Wh…wha…WHAT? Woah! I just had a terrible nightmare! I was a liberal twit, filled with weirdo ideas like communism, victim-hood and a complete denial of reality. I'd better go do something positive, responsible, adult-like and self-reliant to get it out of my head!!!

  18. Sheila says:

    RR, I have owned cats most of my life. They don't serve me, I serve them! :)

  19. stiegem says:

    @Sheila – I agree! I never did like that book I bought back in 1977 about "looking out for number one". And that "intimidation" one??? Those books did not "serve" me well. Neither did "Open Marriage". Serving others (even animals) is what it is all about. BRAVO Sheila. Thank you for your comment.<3

    • Daniel says:

      Whereas I respect your natural right to have an opinion, yours doesn't square with countless others whose lives were made better by "Looking Out For #1"; the evidence being that my life and circumstances were dramatically improved as a result of having digested and applied the many theories he proffered. In fact, that book, alone, had more to do with the successes that followed (and shedding the baggage of past failures) than any other I read because it made me realize that stuff happens, and I can deal with that stuff only when I accept responsibility and take action to change and improve my circumstance. Solid stuff. Maybe you just didn't understand. And, by the way, if you are the servant of a cat, perhaps you ought to consider getting rid of the cat.

  20. Pony says:

    While I, too, admire Dr Glasser's work and contributions, he was not the pioneer nor creator of Reality Therapy. That distinction belongs to the late Albert Ellis, MD, whose brash, in-your-face methods helped innumerable people overcome "normal" neuroses.

    Dr Glasser developed and championed Cognitive Therapy, also a boon to those seeking to live fruitful and functional lives. These two men collaborated to bring about a world-changing paradigm shift that continues to help people get past the roadblocks that keep them stuck and spinning their wheels.

  21. Pony says:

    While I, too, admire Dr Glasser's work and contributions, he was not the pioneer nor creator of Reality Therapy. That distinction belongs to the late Albert Ellis, PhD, whose brash, in-your-face methods helped innumerable people overcome "normal" neuroses.

    Dr Glasser developed and championed Cognitive Therapy, also a boon to those seeking to live fruitful and functional lives. These two men collaborated to bring about a world-changing paradigm shift that continues to help people get past the roadblocks that keep them stuck and spinning their wheels.

  22. Though I believe in not talking about my own writings or books, this topic is so closely related to the process of conditioning of the mind and a simple practical process of vaccinating the mind to overcome this very natural phenomenon for all minds. I also describe a decision making model at the end of the book. A caution : Being my first book and also a non-fiction , it is a little difficult to read! " Success through Opposites" published as an ebook in Smashwords.com.

    • Richard Lee Van DV says:

      I too write and publish books, BUT, I think it is in very BAD TASTE to advertise one's products on someone else's site. I feel embarrassed "for you". Think about it.

      • Paul Herring says:

        Isn't it the privilege and responsibility for the moderator of this blog, namely RJR, to counsel a commentator on it as to whether his remarks are OK or otherwise, Richard? .

        • Richard Lee Van DV says:

          You are right, Paul. I overstepped. I am too used to being "the leader" in my work and activities over the course of my life and I suppose too often think I am the "last word" on a matter. An ego problem, I suppose.

          • Paul Herring says:

            Thanks for your gracious response, Richard.

          • ◄Dave► says:

            Agreed! 'A+' Regardless of the merits, that was probably the most gracious response to criticism I have ever encountered on the internet. And, your reply to it was also pitch perfect, Paul. Well done, both of you! ◄Dave►

          • Paul Herring says:

            Nice of you to say so, Dave. Cheers for a good day today!

  23. Richard Lee Van DV says:

    Ah yes! "Normall neuroses" is what I didn't think to say in my earlier comment. Normal versus psychotic. Overcoming that which is problematic is HOW WE GROW, and WHY we incarnate. The Materialist seems to believe that we are here on earth to make money, etc., so that we will be "happy". Become "fulfilled", actualizing our potentials, is more to the point. Only chasing money (or power, or…) does not lead to our higher good. Too many people don't get that. And, as a result, they are NEVER happy.

  24. JOSEPH says:

    I agree. The past is over. The problem with some people is that they like to play the "victim", and say "poor me", and so forth. I do think major wrongs or injustices that have happened to us can affect our future behavior, but only if we let it. We can decide to let it go, but if we can't because it's very serious and deeply ingrained in us, we can decide to get therapy. Either way, you are taking responsibility.

    I think people who DECIDE to take responsibility for their lives do so because they know that taking responsibility puts them in CONTROL of their life.

    I think the ultimate definition of responsibility is DECIDING to take a look at reality, see it for what it is, and if necessary take action.

  25. Jose Jose Adame says:

    Great insight, Thank you Robert.

  26. nanan says:

    your page is realy valuable for me robert..you share great information allwa;ys with pubalic …thank you so much

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  29. A. Mobile says:

    Responsible behavior keeping the past in mind would be the best approach for future guideline for the kid.

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