Gratitude Condition
By Lauri Ringer
The recent string of celebrity deaths reminds us of the fragility of life and makes us feel grateful to be alive. But don’t we always feel grateful to be alive? Or is that merely a platitude? Do we really need to keep reminding ourselves to appreciate what we have? Dr. Robert A. Emmons thinks so.
In his book Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, he discusses his study of what he calls the “gratitude condition.” He found that people who counted their blessings on a daily basis were 25 percent happier than those who did not, and they were more optimistic about the future.
Dr. Emmons’s research is evidence that we benefit when we recognize that there are things in our lives for which we can be thankful, regardless of the state of the economy, the state of the world, or our personal challenges. The problem is that we get so involved in our everyday routine that we take for granted the miracles around us.
Often, it takes a dire situation to wake us up. Twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. My neurologist, who expected me to end up in a wheelchair, calls me a walking miracle and says that my most powerful weapon has been my attitude. I didn’t realize it, but what I’ve been doing is practicing a form of gratitude.
I believe in the mind-body connection, but am not so arrogant as to believe that my success to date with my multiple sclerosis has been accomplished by me alone. Call it a Higher Power, call it the Universe, call it Dumb Luck — I’ve had a partner, for sure.
One of the things that worked for me was visualization. I would picture myself walking through a wooded area and approaching a tree … touching the bark and having the sensation of hugging the tree and feeling its life force penetrating my body. My feet felt as if they had roots growing deep into the ground, absorbing the life-giving energy of the soil.
I replaced the errant condition of my body with the healing force of Mother Earth. I know it sounds melodramatic, but I am convinced that focusing on images like these had a healing effect not only on my body, but on my soul.
As time passed, I became conscious of being in a “gratitude condition.” Now, I am able to hike seven miles at a stretch. And being able to walk and climb is much more than a physical workout for me; it’s a spiritual awareness.
I feel the life force of the earth coming up through my legs as my muscles work the trail. I feel “a cosmic tunnel to the Universe” in the expanse of sky above me, and I sometimes find myself audibly chanting, “You’re doing it, you’re doing it, you’re doing it.” The chant is an affirmation of my gratitude that my body is working.
Some of my favorite ways to practice gratitude include:
Praying
No matter your religious belief — Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or atheist — some form of prayer helps increase gratitude on a multitude of levels, from being thankful for the miracle of life to feeling like part of a greater community.
Focusing on your senses
Dedicate some time each day to consciously use the gift of your senses — your sense of touch, sight, taste, sound, and smell — to experience the world.
Having visual reminders
Just as you might write a note to remind yourself to buy milk at the grocery store, post visual expressions of gratitude on your computer desktop — whether they be inspirational quotations, photographs, or single words.
Having grateful thoughts
Like taking daily vitamins and brushing your teeth, make gratitude a habit — even a mantra.
Demonstrating gratefulness to others
Take the time to say “Thank you” — and really mean it. And always make it a point to compliment people — on their shoes, their smile, or any one of an endless number of small things you may appreciate about them. It’s amazing how this simple, genuine act affects people.
And there’s a big bonus in doing this: Their response will make you feel terrific as well. Saying or doing something that makes someone else’s day is remarkably self-gratifying.
Don’t get me wrong. I have bad days like everyone else — but my “gratitude condition” never fails to enrich my life.
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Copyright © 2012 Robert Ringer
ROBERT RINGER is a New York Times #1 bestselling author and host of the highly acclaimed Liberty Education Interview Series, which features interviews with top political, economic, and social leaders. He has appeared on Fox News, Fox Business, The Tonight Show, Today, The Dennis Miller Show, Good Morning America, The Lars Larson Show, ABC Nightline, and The Charlie Rose Show, and has been the subject of feature articles in such major publications as Time, People, The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Barron's, and The New York Times.
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Lauri -
You are a remarkable person and an inspiration to others, given your courage as a champion in all areas of your life. And that difficult pregnancy and delivery ordeal Robert details in one of his books was surely the foundation for the bravery you have demonstrated, in more recent times.
Your communion with nature dovetails with my religious/spiritual philosophy I refer to as G.A.N.A.1, which stands for: “God And Nature Are One.” This is why I agree with those who say: God is everywhere.” I take that to an even higher level by saying and believing: “God is everywhere, because GOD IS EVERYTHING!”
Knowing the power of the mind and the spirit, we can actually DICTATE to our body to respond and rejuvenate, when we face these challenges. God’s power is our power, if we would only invoke it, more often.
Bless you every day, Lauri, as you have blessed us with your wisdom and experience.
Rob Bonter Port Leyden, NY
Lauri, that is a message more people need to hear and appreciate! Thanks for sharing it.
I said it this way in my book:
You’ve asked for something that you really, really wanted. And now you have it! Do you have to say “thanks”? If you want to keep it, the answer is YES! When you were little your mother probably told you to send thank-you notes to people who sent you gifts. Sure, it is the polite thing to do, but don’t you think that the person who gave you the gift might be more inclined to give you more gifts if they knew you appreciated it?
Being grateful for what you have will get you more of the same, because while you are giving thanks you are keeping your thoughts focused on the thing that pleases you. Ignore it and other thoughts may take its place.
If you want to be healthy, you should start every day by saying something like: “I am so glad that I am healthy”. Saying it, even if you don’t feel healthy, tells your subconscious mind – which is your link to the Universal Intelligence/God – that this is how you want to feel.
If you are not healthy now, I’ll bet you have been starting every day complaining about your ill health! And – surprise! – you get more ill health. You have to change the message before you can change your reality. And once you start to feel better (and you will) you must keep reminding your subconscious that you want more of this, or the old message that you have been playing for years will creep back into your life!
It has been shown that it takes three weeks to change a habit. Do something differently from the way you are used to doing it every day for 21 days and that will become your new habit!
Remember that you get what your attention is focused on. The world is vying for your attention, and a lot of the messages you are receiving are about things you don’t want in your life. Your subconscious mind is listening, even if you aren’t consciously paying attention. It is absorbing every sight and sound that comes through your senses, sifting through them to decide what you want.
Every thought is a request, even if you didn’t mean it as a prayer.
If you watch TV, you are being told to “ask your doctor” about the latest pharmaceuticals that the drug companies want you to buy. In order to tempt you, they tell you about a multitude of illnesses that you probably don’t have and definitely don’t want! They’re only trying to sell their products, but you won’t become a customer unless they convince you that you are sick!
If you want to be healthy and stay healthy, you need to remind God/your subconscious that your goal is to be healthy. Otherwise, the message you are sending may be the same message the drug companies are sending you!
· Know what you want;
· Ask for it often; and
· Reaffirm that you are pleased with it.
Hi Lauri,
I’m personally an atheist (which I consider the natural human condition:))I enjoy the notion of the gratitude factor. It’s the kind of thing Nathaniel Branden presented in his seminars, that is, something relating to the degree of happiness one might experience. As a result of reading your happy epistle, I’ll definitely look at the good things in my life a while when I have empty moments. In fact, when I feel a need to look at what I lack, I’ll then take a look at some of the good things in my life that could, in time, fulfill that lack! I ordered Emmons’ book, by the way. Many thanks, dear heart.
Mike Rael MS mikerael4@yahoo.com
Laurie,
You have a powerful insight and perspective on life and the human condition. Being grateful for what we in fact do have, instead of always dwelling on what we believe we lack, can do wonders for one’s ability to achieve and attain personal success by one’s own standards.
When people ask one if one views a situation as analogous to a glass being half filled or half empty, I’ve learned to respond that I’m first and foremost, grateful for the glass.
You and Robert exhibit the values and qualities I’ve come to admire most in clear thinking and value oriented individuals in an otherwise confused and increasingly lost modern world.
A sincere “Thank you” to both of you.
Neil
Lauri,
Forgive my moniker–MeMeMe. Congrads. It’s remarkable what you have been able to do, if I might echo other postings. You are not the norm, though. You are pretty far above the norm.
I wonder–Dr.Emmons said that people who count their blessings on a daily basis are 25% happier and optimistic than those who do not…is that the cause or effect? I mean, do happier people count their blessings, or do people become happy by counting their blessings?
And to clarify something, you aren’t Robert Ringer’s wife, as Robert Bonter says in the first post on this page. I’m guessing you’re his daughter.
This is very true. I beleive the earth was created with a healing life force. By connecting to the earth, you can get a lot out of it.
Lauri,
At first I thought Mr. Ringer was the one writing this and I thought, wow, he likes to hike! He’s grateful! He is all goodness and light! Now I know it was one of his “much better” halfs or quarters.
You would like the web site gratefulness.org.
Thanks for the article.
Bill