The Cho Factor, Part XXXIV

Business As Usual

After my son made his comment about bringing his “nines” to school (in reference to his basketball shoes), his two tormentors gleefully started yelling, “Andrew said he’s going to bring a Glock 9 to school!”

The teacher, notwithstanding the fact that she knew full well that these two miscreants taunted my son relentlessly every day, told the boys to go to the principal’s office and report the incident. And, of course, they did so with great enthusiasm.

My son was immediately called to the office and questioned by the principal, “Mr. Bershitske.” As I said in my article “The Principle / Principal Problem,” Mr. Bershitske bore a remarkable physical resemblance to Adolf Eichmann – but with a much worse demeanor. The man gave new meaning to the word cruelty.

Predictably, Mr. Bershitske said he didn’t believe my son’s story, and subsequently searched his locker. Surprise! Only books and bubble gum … not even a box of ammo or, at least, a bayonet. Nevertheless, Eichmann’s reincarnation called the police. Makes perfect sense to me. After all, my son had been accused by none other than two of the most notorious bullies in the school.

While driving on the freeway, I received a call saying that my son had threatened to bring a gun to school and that the principal had called the police. I knew without hearing any of the details that it was vintage school B.S., but, even so, my heart dropped to my toes.

(When I use the term “vintage school B.S.,” I’m talking about the kind of distractions that go on nonstop in every school in the country and interfere with what the students should be doing: getting an education. One of the main reasons that home-schooled kids do so much better academically is that they don’t have to put up with this kind of teacher-inspired nonsense and can focus on learning.)

When I arrived at the school, my son was in Mr. Bershitske’s office, as was a policeman. I sat down and asked Andrew to tell me what had happened. As he started to explain, the officer stunned me by interrupting him with, “Why don’t you cut the crap? You know you’re lying.”

Have you ever kept quiet in a situation where you instinctively knew you should speak up, then kicked yourself later for not doing so? I will never forgive myself for not telling the policeman that he was out of line, that he had no evidence whatsoever that justified accusing my son of lying.

Eventually, the policeman left and the meeting was disbanded. More waste of taxpayer money and another scar on another child. Business as usual in a typical American school.

But that wasn’t the end. When my son got home after school, he told me that when he went back to the classroom, the kids were just filing out, and the two jokers who had set him up were laughing hilariously about the incident. They further taunted him by chanting the words to a rap “song” they’d cleverly come up with about his getting in trouble for a Glock 9 that he didn’t even know anything about.

I could have escalated the matter by filing a complaint against the out-of-line officer with the police department, and perhaps suing the school,. But I knew that the time and money involved would be enormous, and that the chances of anything good coming out of it were almost nil. So, as millions of other folks have done in similar situations, my wife and I simply removed our son from that particular bully safe haven at the end of the year.

As I have emphasized in earlier Cho Factor articles, some children can handle abuse from teachers and fellow students better than others. Every child is different. But what all bully victims learn is what every adult knows all too well: The world is not fair.

Criminals go free, and many even end up in government. If the meek inherit the earth, they probably deserve it, because what they have to go through day in and day out in their school years is nothing short of a living hell.

S.B., you asked for advice, but, unfortunately, I don’t have the advice you’d most like to hear: how to bring your son back. All I can tell you is that you should be grateful to God for the years you had with him. If he considered you to be his best friend, you had something special that the majority of fathers never experience.

As I said in my recent article “When Desires Collide With Reality,” when John Travolta’s son died, it was yet another reminder of one of life’s harshest realities – that no one, no matter how rich or famous, escapes the tragedies inherent in human existence.

Yes, I’m concerned about the next Cho who takes out his torment on his fellow students. But, as I have repeatedly said in other Cho Factor articles, I’m even more concerned about the millions of kids who are scarred for life as a result of school injustices – children who suffer quietly as the bullies laugh at how easily they are able to get away with their cruel, smart-aleck antics.

Even more, I am concerned about the many others – like S.B.’s son – who don’t even make it through school alive.

Previous – Part XXXIII, No Child Left Unscarred